“Over the past three decades I have spent homeschooling and working with homeschooling families, I have recognized the power of a confident parent.”
This quote from Leigh Bortins in The Conversation, has me saying, “yes, yes, YES!” In only five years time, I have found the same to be true. With standardized testing, re-enrollment, and annual fatigue, I see parents’ confidence shaken. At first I was surprised by it. I would see capable, successful homeschoolers wondering each winter if they should continue and each spring if they should begin again. All the months in between, they asked if they were doing enough. When I interacted with their children through our homeschool community, field trips, and social events, I thought their success was obvious. They’re raising kind, bright, and intelligent children. But, their doubts persisted. I actually began to wonder if I was missing something. Was my lack of doubt a signal that I wasn’t getting it? That there was more to homeschooling my children than I thought? A sign that somehow the pressure of knowing that my children only had one shot at a childhood education was lost on me? But, it wasn’t. I do feel that pressure and sometimes it can seem overwhelming. I fail terribly as a parent and sometimes think they’d be better off spending much less time with me, rather than more. At times, it’s as though an elephant is sitting on my chest and I can hardly breathe. But somehow under all this pressure, my confidence is not lacking. Because my confidence is in God. God has called me. God is equipping me. But more than that, God is changing me. God is the hope I have in our homeschool. Whether we homeschool or not, this is true for us parents, don’t you think? Well, here are some ways I think we can work together to create a confident network of parents for the sake of our children, ourselves, and each other.
Let’s steward the call God has placed on us as parents, and specifically as homeschoolers:
1. Knowledge. Get the information. You’ve decided to homeschool. Now what? Start at the beginning. Do you understand philosophies of education? How about methods? Or the history of education in America? What does the Bible say about education? I didn’t know any of these things when I began. Homeschooling starts with the parents’ education. Begin reading the Bible, articles, blog posts, and books on the topic. Do not worry about curriculum. Begin by learning about education. See what makes sense for you and your family’s needs, styles, habits, interests, etc.
2. Experience. Not just yours, but others too. Ask questions, formulate a simple plan, and get started. You’ll learn quickly as you go. Each year, I actually simplify our plan, because I gain confidence in what is working and lose the things we don’t need.
3. Support. Find your people. This is a huge step. The people who have similar interests, but more importantly similar goals, purposes, and methods. You will need each other. I have been on the sending and receiving end of text messages asking for prayer in a moment of need. I’ve had moments where I’ve called my friends to care for my children when I need to rush another one to the emergency room. I have lots of friends, but my “people” are the ones I call in those desperate, vulnerable times. The ones I can leave my littles with and no additional instructions, because they care for them like their own.
4. Accountability. Our Classical Conversations community is an inspiring group of parents and families that are a joy to spend time among. I’m grateful for the weekly groups to hold me accountable for our school work. But I’m even more grateful for the relationships which have developed from this group. I meet with different moms for prayer mornings, girls nights, park dates, and shared meals. Their encouragement on the issues that go far beyond school or any temporal matter is one of the major ways God is using this time to teach me. Their parenting and their marriages have been a light to point me back to Christ more than one time. The relationships their children have with mine is a source of protection during these pivotal growing years.
5. Education. Nope, I don’t mean theirs, I mean yours. If you want to feel confident in teaching, start learning. Read, read, and read some more. Or if reading isn’t your style or doesn’t fit your schedule, try audio books. We’ve learned so much listening to Chronicles of Narnia and Story of the World as a family. And we just do those driving around from place to place. Next on the list? Pilgrim’s Progress. I’m so excited about that one! I’ve read the original book completely myself, a children’s version to my littles, and part of the original to my children. We all love it!
I also read books about education, specifically Christian, classical education since that’s the road we’ve chosen. And I just read good books. Right now I’m reading Pioneer Girl, the annotated autobiography of Laura Ingalls Wilder. Plus I’m still working my way through Saving Leonardo. Sometime during our move and settling in, it got pushed aside, but I’m back to it now. I highly recommend both of those books and any of the books I’ve posted through the CC at Home book club.
6. Prayer. Prayer reminds me I’m not in this alone. God loves me, my children, and my family more than I do. Homeschooling wasn’t my idea, but His plan for our family. He’s using it to meet far more than our educational needs. He’s already provided for us in so many ways, like pointing us to curriculum that works for our family. Curriculum that would never have gotten a second look from me on my own. He built a community for us that we didn’t know we needed until they were already there. Bringing our needs and our praises to Him reminds me to abide and He will provide.
“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” ~ John 15:4-7
“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.” ~ Psalm 23:1
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